


You're Embarrassing Yourself

by breathedeep222



Category: TANIS podcast
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Unrequited Crush, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 10:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5703571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathedeep222/pseuds/breathedeep222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So this is just a pointless one-shot. Part half-assed character study/part Jeff having unrequited feelings</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Embarrassing Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> This fic sucks. BUT, considering it's the only fic in this pairing that means I have written the best Jeffic fic so far! Lol

Jeff was a practical guy.

He wasn't proned to flights of fancy, and generally thought feeling anxious about things was a waste of time. Either he could change the situation and he should do that, or he couldn't change it and there was zero point in letting it upset him.

That is why it was weird to find him flipping his phone over in his hands,walking the path from his couch to the kitchen for the millionth time that night.

He had gotten home from work at 5:30 and had been pacing since. Last week, when he told Nic about his brother's email they had made a date for drinks this Thursday. Beyond that one phone call they hadn't had a chance to speak. Jeff understood, Nic was busy, he wasn't always going to have time just to chit chat. Actually, for someone who spent most of his time attempting to unravel an ancient mystery, Nic was pretty good about answering Jeff. Sometimes there were hours between his responses, but Nic always got back to him.

The two of them had connected the first night they met. Talking about music, movies, and Washington life. It felt really good to hang out with someone again. Jeff had gotten into such a rut lately. He worked primarily from home so he had little reason to leave his house. The less he left his house, the less friends he made, which lead to even fewer reasons to leave the house. At first he tried to go out alone, but watching terrible wannabe indie bands play bars really wasn't as entertaining by yourself. Now, he usually saved himself the trip and just started drinking at home. Enjoying the feeling of having company again was probably the reason he had been so forthcoming about Karl. That's the reason why Nic was there, so that would be the reason he stuck around.

Normal people would probably be offended by that fact, but not Jeff. Nic was right when he described him as no-nonsense. He wasn't idealistic and not one to suffer from sentimentalism. His relationship with Karl had been nearly non-existent, and Karl was dead now. If Nic wanted to snoop in Karl's life it didn't matter.

Jeff also wasn't the type to care if that was the sole reason Nic wanted to talk to him. The point was he had someone to hang out with now, it didn't matter the why or how.

The only problem was they hadn't managed to hang out yet. Texts, phone calls, the occasional email with music reccomendations from Nic, sure. But actual in-person contact? That was a no go. 

Before their first meeting was even over Jeff wanted to make plans to meet up with Nic again. His blue eyes and earnest looking face didn't hurt. It was clear within a minute of meeting him Nic was intelligent and knew a lot about a lot. Yet, his whole demeanor still gave off this sense of...wonder. He had a child-like enthusiasm for almost everything. It was sweet and made talking to him easy because you really felt he cared about whatever the topic was.

Thankfully, Karl's hoarding and weirdness came in handy from beyond the grave and Nic constantly had questions about his belongings, meaning they had more chances to speak. The first couple of times Jeff suggested they get drinks again Nic had agreed, but it was all too abstract to make anything of it. Honestly, Jeff hadn't been too invested at first. Sure he wanted to hang out with the cute, nosey journalist again, but it was a fleeting desire. The way you can wish to be friends with your cool barista. It's not something you actually expect to happen.

But then Nic kept calling, and Jeff figured he might as well honestly give it a shot. Listening to the podcast made him even more interested in Nic. He had no clue if Nic would return the interest but it was fine if he didn't. He'd still get a new friend out of the deal.

So, Jeff decided to up the ante. He made the decision to really push Nic about hanging out and make him pick a date. The next day Jeff had a stroke of luck and found that lockbox key. He had become uncharacteristically giddy when he first found it, knowing Nic would be very interested. He was completely right. Jeff could hear the excitement in his voice when he told him about the key and the box's contents, feeling a little proud of himself for being able to help out. It paid off, because when Jeff asked him out for drinks again he got a much more enthusiastic "Yeah, we should do it!"

The excitement must have got to him because, like a total fucking moron, he blurted out "Tonight?" 

Immediately after Jeff considered making hanging a Van Sandt tradition. Of course, Nic couldn't just drop everything and go out. Not everyone was a loser work from home accountant like him. He was so embarrassed by his behavior he didn't even keep his promise to make Nic choose a date. He just hung up.

Fortunately, Karl's oddities were the gifts that kept on giving, because Nic called a couple days later to talk about the craigslist ad. Jeff had mostly recovered from his embarrassment by that point and was determined to not let his invitation be dismissed. Always practical, Jeff used Nic's awkwardness about how much he was prying into his dead brother's life to his advantage. It was clear he felt guilty about asking for Karl's email password, so Jeff chose that moment to ask him out for drinks again. Nic said yes, like usual, and Jeff threw in a "I'll believe it when I see it," for good measure. 

That had the desired effect. Nic apologized for blowing him off before, explaining he was busy, which Jeff already knew. This phone call happened on a Thursday, so Jeff suggested they pick a date for that weekend so Nic couldn't keep putting it off. Sadly, Nic had too much work to catch up on that he put off while he was researching TANIS. Instead he suggested a week from that day. It would give him time to finish everything up, and was far off enough in the future that he could plan the other stuff he had to do that week around it. Of course, Jeff eagerly agreed. He assured Nic once again he'd get him Karl's password, and then they hung up. 

Now, the anticipated Thursday was here, and Jeff was pacing in his living room. He reached the fridge, took out a beer, and walked back over to the couch. He flopped down on it with a sigh. Nic never brought up their plans again and neither did Jeff. He didn't want to smother Nic. He wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he would keep his word.

Clearly that wasn't the case. There wasn't a single peep from Nic all day. Jeff wasn't one for self-delusion. 6 pm and still no word meant only one thing: Nic forgot. 

He popped the tab on his beer and had four long gulps. He looked down at the phone in his hand. The last message he received from Nic stared back at him. 

"Got it."

Jeff texted him the address of the bar after they spoke on the phone. Nic must open his messages 100 times a day, surely he would have seen it and been reminded? On the other hand, Jeff had no clue how quickly his name got buried beneath new messages. It was entirely possible Nic just couldn't see the message anymore to remind him. 

He didn't know what to do. He wasn't sure if this was supposed to be a hint that Nic didn't really want to hang out with him and Jeff should just let it go. Or maybe Jeff was just being ridiculous and he should stop acting like a fifteen year old. 

"Nic's busy," he said aloud. "Just call him and tell him he forgot and that he's a flake." Looking at the facts helped him get a grip. He took one more swallow of beer for good measure and pressed the dial button.

"Hey man! What's up?" Nic sounded perfectly amicable, and not at all like someone who knew he was in the middle of ditching plans.

"Nothing much," Jeff answered casually. He wanted to see how long it would take Him to realize. "What are you up to tonight?"

"Working, like usual." Nic chuckled. A pause followed that Jeff allowed to hang in the air awkwardly. "So, uh, did you need something?" He asked. 

Jeff couldn't help himself anymore. "You're unbelievable you know that?"

"What? What did I do?"

"You don't remember having any plans for tonight..."

"Oh shit." Jeff laughed and listened to the sounds of papers rustling. "What time is it? What day is it? I could have sworn it was Wednesday."

"It is most definitely not Wednesday." Jeff could hear the apology in Nic's tone and felt a little better. A little warmer. 

"Oh god man," Nic groaned. "I am so so so sorry." Hearing that stressed 'o' sound tugged the corner of Jeff's lips up and loosened the knot that had formed in his stomach. He hadn't realized a part of him still was worried Nic wasn't going to care he was blowing him off.

"It's okay dude."

"No," Nic interrupted. "It is most certainly not okay. This week has been insane, I totally lost track of time. But it's only...6:15. We still have the whole night ahead of us! You still wanna head out?"

"Oh, uh, sure." Jeff was surprised. He was completely expecting him to reschedule. "You're not too busy?"

Nic snorted. "I am definitely too busy. But I also definitely need a break. Having a drink and talking about _anything_ that's not work sounds great."

"Collateralized Mortgage Obligation a good topic?"

That got a genuine laugh out of Nic. "Sounds like a blast. I'll meet you there in a half hour?"

"See you then."

\---

“So, how about those EBITDA margins?” Jeff joked when Nic sat in the stool next to him.

“Oh god,” Nic groaned. “You sound like MK.”

Jeff frowned. “I thought we weren’t talking about work?” He didn’t actually care if they talked about the podcast, he just didn’t want to hear about the “remarkably resourceful” reporter. The way Nic fawned over her made him want to gag.

“Right, right,” Nic agreed. He flagged down the bartender. “So let’s talk about you? How was your week?"

He shrugged. “Fine. My life isn’t that interesting.” Thankfully he didn’t have to explain how uninteresting his life was. The bartender came their way and Nic had to interrupt him to order a beer.

“So, dude, what the hell was up with that song you sent me with the meowing?” He changed the subject right away when Nic faced him again, beer in hand. Jeff was already more than halfway through his second. He was going to need a refill soon.

Nic’s laugh lit up his face. “What, you didn’t like it?”

Jeff gave him his best “What the fuck do you think?” look. Nic chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

“Fair enough. They’re not for everyone.”

Jeff learned quickly that Nic knew about a lot of weird bands. Which probably wasn’t hard considering where they lived. But still impressive. None of it was usually Jeff’s tastes, but Nic didn’t seem to take his music too seriously. He liked listening to Jeff’s sarcastic comments and critiques.

They fell into conversation easily, jumping from topic to topic. By Jeff’s fourth beer he had stopped worrying about whether Nic actually wanted to be there. His mind roamed freely, from their conversations to the way Nic’s wavy hair curled around his ears. The bar had steadily filled while they were sitting there, happy hour in full swing. People were crowding the bar from all sides so they had to lean in close to avoid being pushed around. Nic’s leg was pressed up against his, spreading warmth up his thigh.

He was mid-story when someone squeezed into the bar behind him and knocked him forward. “Hey!” Nic said to the guy behind him, and was promptly ignored.

Nic faced him again and rolled his eyes.

“Wanna move?” Jeff asked. “It’s getting pretty crowded up here.”

“Yeah but…” He took a look around the bar. The after work crowd was spread out all over, larger groups taking up most of the tables. “I don’t think we have any options right now.”

The same guy knocked into Nic again as he walked away with his drinks and Nic looked like he was considering following after him.

“Hey.” Jeff tapped his knee to get his attention. “Do you mind standing? We can go play some pool.” He was already grabbing his beer and standing up but Nic hesitated.

“Uh, I should warn you I’m not very good at pool. Actually I’m terrible. It’s embarrassing.”

Jeff couldn’t help but chuckle at his sheepish expression. “Don’t sweat it. I don’t mind. Especially if you want to put money on it.”

Nic stood and shoved him. “I’m bad at pool. I never said I was an idiot.” Hepicked up his own beer and gestured toward the back of the bar with his head. “Ready?”

Jeff gave his bottle a shake and contemplated whether he should just gulp the rest of this one down and buy another. Before he could decide there was a warm hand on his arm. His fuzzy alcohol addled brain was the only reason he didn’t jerk back in surprise.

“Just take that one,” Nic told him. His shiny pink lips pulled into a smirk. “The bar will still be here when we’re done playing.”

“I don’t know man. Some crazy shit has been happening to you lately. It might disappear.”

They made their way toward the pool tables at the back of the bar. It took Jeff a little longer than it should to weave through the crowd, his reactions slow. Fortunately, not that many people were interested in playing pool, probably due to spending a long week using their brains. They easily snagged a free table and started setting up.

"Alright!” Jeff rubbed his hands together. “Want to do the honors?”

Nic was standing on the other side of the table, gripping his stick in one hand and their bottles in the other. He looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“Absolutely not. If you let me break those balls will go nowhere.”

Jeff kept his ball comments to himself and positioned himself in front of the multi-colored triangle. “Fine fine. If you insist.” He was actually pretty good at pool, so he broke the formation with ease and tried not to be too proud when two of the solid balls went in the holes.

“Show off,” Nic murmured. Jeff stood next to him and grabbed his beer from him. “What are you doing? Isn’t it still your turn?”

Jeff shrugged. “This will go by too fast if we play by the rules. Why don’t you practice instead? I can help you out.”

Nic snorted and handed him his beer. “There is no helping me. Prepare to be amazed by how terrible I am.”

Nic examined the table quickly and decided to make his shot from the same side Jeff was standing on. He didn’t even have a chance to enjoy the view of Nic bending over because he was too busy laughing at his atrocious form. He was holding the pool stick all wrong, and when he made the shot it slipped and zinged diagonally. He managed to hit three balls, but they barely moved an inch.

“Stop it,” Nic said immediately.

Jeff had the pool stick stucked under his arm and was using it to prop him up as he laughed hysterically. That was one of the most sorry attempts at playing pool he had ever seen. You would think Nic had never even heard of pool before this moment.

“Dude what the hell was that?” He gasped out.

Nic was standing next to the pool table glaring at him, clearly waiting for him to get over it. “I told you I was bad.”

“Yeah but there’s bad and then there’s ‘I have zero fucking clue what I’m doing.’ You don’t even know how to hold the pool stick!”

“I forget,” he argued, snatching his beer bottle from Jeff. “I generally try to avoid playing so I never remember how in between games.”

Jeff managed to get some semblance of a grip and reigned in his laughter. “Do you want me to show you?”

Nic shrugged. “You can. But it’s not going to improve my playing by much. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a ball in on purpose.”

“Well now we have a goal to work toward! Come on, let’s start with the basics.”

Jeff demonstrated how to hold the pool cue and the proper way to push it forward so For optimal control. When he was done he took the bottle from Nic and let him try.

“No, dude, jeez.” He sighed in exasperation. It’s like Nic wasn’t even listening. “You’re holding it like it’s gonna bite you. Here.” He put the bottles on the floor and walked closer. “Uh, mind if I show you?”

“No dude go for it.”

Jeff came up behind him and rested his hand on the rim of the table on Nic’s left side, leaning over him. He tried to ignore the heat from Nic’s body seeping into his shirt. He placed his hand at the end of the pool stick, pulling it back. “First off you’re holding that way to far up. It should feel comfortable, hold it by your hip.” He got the right hand in the correct position and then turned his attention to the left one on the table.

“Turn your hand up a little. Remember, you’re using this one to support it. That’s where you’re getting your control from.” He adjusted Nic’s hand until it was slightly off the table. “Now, you’re gonna slide the end right here.” Jeff rubbed the V between Nic’s thumb and index finger.

Nic followed his instruction but frowned. “I know that, but it never stays there.”

“Your thumb is too low,” Jeff said. He pulled it up from where Niichad let it slack. “You’re cradling the cue there. You want it to stay stable when you set it up. If you want to change the height of the stick you change the position of your hand, not your fingers. And NOT the cue. Do not point that sucker up or down. Change your hand position but keep the cue level. Moving the cue up and down is how you ending sliding all over the table.”

“Move your hand, not the cue or your fingers. Got it.” Nic nodded.

Jeff backed out of his space and let him attempt another hit. He managed to move the green stripe ball in front of him a couple of inches.

“God I’m still pathetic at this.”

“No man, that was progress! Cheers!” He picked up their bottles and made Nic toast him. Nic rolled his eyes but his expression was fond and he took a swig.

“I guess it’s something. Thanks for trying to help. Being that terrible at pool is mortifying. You can imagine the effect it has on the ladies.”

It felt like someone dropped a block of ice in Jeff’s stomach. He had been so caught up in the moment. The bar atmosphere, the haze of alcohol, and their easy camaraderie combined to make him forget the reality of the situation. Nic was not interested, and Jeff should not have been reading in to how comfortable Nic was with having his space invaded and being positioned. He was fine with it because he had no idea Jeff was being a creep.

“Yeah, cause you have so much going for you with the ladies to begin with,” was all he said. He put his bottle down and began setting up a shot.

“Hey! I’ll have you know awkward geek guys are in high demand these days.”

“I’m sure they are,” Jeff mumbled, before taking three shots in quick succession. All three made it in, but he no longer felt proud of the impressed look Nic was giving him.

“Man, I’m never going to be able to do that.”

Jeff snorted. “Why don’t you focus on getting _one_ ball in. You gotta walk before you can run.”

“Well I’ll be running in no time with such a great teacher.”

If Nic’s smirk could be interpreted as flirty, Jeff was sure it was just a projection of his lonely mind.

\---

They had practiced a bit more before Nic called it quits. He did manage to hit one ball into the hole, so after that benchmark was reached they retreated back to the bar. They found a spot to squeeze into and spent the rest of the night talking and being shoved from multiple directions, Jeff pounding back beers to distract himself from the constant feeling of Nic pressed against his side.

Now they were walking up the block to Jeff’s house. His place was walking distance from the bar, and the night was nice. There was a brisk breeze in the air, perfect for relieving the flush of alcohol and smell of the bar. Nic said he’d walk him back and then grab an Uber from Jeff’s place.

Jeff stumbled up the stairs to his house, Nic’s hand grabbing his shoulder in case he fell.

“Woah dude, you okay?”

“M’fine,” He replied, shaking his hand off. Nic stepped back and leaned against the stair railing behind him. He was struggling with his keys, wishing the lock would stop moving so he could get the key in.

He was finally successful and was able to turn the lock and open the door. He turned around to face Nic, gripping the doorjamb to steady himself. “You wanna wait inside?”

Nic glanced at his phone. “There’s a car like two minutes away. Probably not worth it.”

Jeff shrugged. He really needed to sit down. “Suit yourself. So, uh, see you around I guess.”

“Yeah! Uh,” Nic stood up straight and walked closer to the doorway. “Thanks dude. I mean it. I really needed tonight.” Nic’s voice was low and soft, serious.

“No problem. I’m glad you didn’t ditch me.”

Nic cringed and lowered his head in embarrassment. “Yeah I’m so sorry about that. My brain has been all over the place.”

“Stop apologizing. I got it, you lost track of time. It happens to the best of us. I’m glad my brother’s empty email is keeping you busy.”

Nic let out a laugh that was mostly a soft puff of breath. “It actually has been. All his stuff has been useful. I can’t thank you enough for giving me access to it. You’d tell me if I was crossing a line though, right?”

Jeff groaned. “Not this again. I told you it’s fine. I wasn’t going to do anything with that stuff anyway. Stop thanking me, and stop apologizing. You’re not one of those sentimental drunks, are you?”

“Maybe,” Nic said with a wry smile. “But it’s an…intense situation. And you won’t let me make it up to you! You wouldn’t even let me buy you drinks!”

Jeff was regretting that decision. He turned down the original offer because he imagined making podcasts didn’t pay too well, and as an accountant with no life he had plenty of money. He didn’t need to rent out the basement suite, it just felt like more space than he knew what to with. If he knew Nic was going to keep harping him about it he would have just let him buy the stupid drink.

“Nic, seriously, it is completely, one hundred percent fine. You haven’t crossed any lines I didn’t let you cross.”

Nic looked down at his phone and flipped it in his hands awkwardly. “Alright, alright. I believe you.” He picked his head up and Jeff had to grip the doorjamb harder, suddenly feeling like he was going to fall. Nic’s change of position left his hair over his eyes, blue irises peaking out between the strands.

“But really, let me repay you in some way. At least let me buy a few rounds next time.” Nic looked so stupidly forthright, so earnest. And he mentioned a next time, and Jeff had had a lot to drink and he was not thinking clearly at all.

“You really want to make it up to me?” He asked, not at all sure where he was going with this.

Nic stood up straighter, eager at getting somewhere. “Yeah!”

“Don’t be mad at me,” Jeff said.

Nic couldn’t respond because he reached a hand behind his head and pulled him into a kiss.

Jeff felt suspended in that moment for a second. There was nothing but the night around them, the breeze wafting over his porch, and Nic’s warm, chapped lips against his.

There was only silence until Nic made a small, confused noise and Jeff jerked away. He stumbled into his house and shut the door. He wasted no time throwing himself into the couch, hiding his face in the cushions. He didn’t want to know what Nic would do, how he would react.

Jeff was an idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> I left the end a little open to interpretation. I thought it was a little more fun that way.


End file.
